Being a parent is rewarding, but it’s also tough. And, not surprisingly, the rewards and frustrations of parenthood fall differently on fathers than on mothers, according to a 2019 research study.

Gender Differences in the Parental Experience

The researchers compared mothers’ and fathers’ psychological well-being to their childless peers and also examined how gender relates to mothers’ and fathers’ happiness while caring for or spending time with their children. Their main finding: the association between parenthood and well-being is more positive for fathers than for mothers.

The chart below shows that men are happier and less depressed than their non-parent peers but that the converse is true for mothers — they are generally less happy and more depressed than childless women.

Another finding, shown in the below chart, is that men are happier than women when caring for and interacting with their children.

The researchers note that “fathers reported relatively greater overall happiness, fewer depressive symptoms, more positive emotions, fewer hassles, and greater state happiness while caring for and interacting with their children [than mothers].”

Why Being a Father is More Fun

The findings of this study probably aren’t a surprise to mothers, given how parenting responsibility is usually split — with mothers often shouldering more parental and household responsibility. Here are the reasons that fatherhood is more fun than motherhood, according to the researchers:

• Mothers bear more responsibility. Fathers more often play with children when caring for or interacting with them, which is likely due to mothers having more parental responsibility. This is demonstrated by mothers in the study reporting more daily “hassles” and stress related to children and the upkeep of the household than men.

• Perceived unfair distribution of labor. The researchers noted that “unequal divisions of labor persist for many heterosexual couples, with women devoting more time to child care and household tasks. Unequal divisions of labor are linked with lower marital quality and general well-being.” The researchers note that women, more than men, tend to perceive the division of parental responsibility as unfair, which results in lower overall well-being for mothers.

• There are cultural differences. The researchers posit that “mothers may be relatively less happy because they are more likely to have high expectations about parenthood and thus more likely to be let down by the experience, due to personal upbringing and cultural messages that lead women to believe that they are supposed to enjoy motherhood.”

• Postpartum depression may play a role in the study results for respondents who replied in the aftermath of childbirth.